“You cannot make people learn. You can only provide the right conditions for learning to happen.”
Yesterday, we were on a Zoom call for Easter, the adults trying to connect through conversation as Waylan and Henry ran wild in the background. Henry was climbing a mountain made with his chair; Waylan was running in circles, from room to room.
I let them. They were playing. I observed Henry flip over the chair using his big muscles (gross motor) and climb. I watched him grab all of his stuffed animals and have them climb, too. I watched him have the bear help the lamb to get over the mountain, then slide down the other side. All while Waylan danced and waved and waddled around (he’s 1).
This is all learning. I didn’t do much beyond stepping back and observing, helping if Henry asked. Sometimes, it seems like we aren’t doing enough to help our children learn. Right now, in this moment, it feels like way too much. How can I connect with my toddler and help my second grader with her math and work from home?
Each of my children learn differently. Each of us learn differently and how do we, as parents, cater to the way their minds work without losing our minds? Does it feel like you aren’t doing enough?
First of all, you are doing plenty by waking up and breathing every day right now. You may have to show up in million ways right now, ways that seem amazing and terrifying and overwhelming.
Secondly, maybe it would be helpful for all of us to understand the way our kids learn. The basics. The foundation. Maybe this would help us to take a deep breath and not grasp to be the best teacher, especially if our training was not in education.
These are the 5 pillars of growth and learning:
Environmental
Emotional
Physical
Social
Psychological
For the time being, we are going to put social aside, although if there are siblings at home, social can come in.
We spoke about setting the environment for play here, but here is some more insight.
Sound: it's important to understand that something as simple as noise can affect a child’s learning. Are they working in a quiet room or do they seem to be distracted by background noise?
Lights: bright vs. dim has an impact on behavior and mood. Try having your child work near natural light if possible.
Temperature: if it’s too cold or too hot the child will be too focused on how they are feeling. Make sure the temperature is just right for learning. (Think about yourself in an office environment; when it’s cold, you have the heater at your feet and are searching everywhere for a sweater.)
Design: informal vs. formal learning areas. Are you using tables and chairs or do you have a comfortable area with a couch. Some children might be able to focus in a comfortable area while others need a structured learning environment with a table and chairs. If your child is older, ask them what they prefer. Have them help you set up a comfortable space.
Emotional
Motivation: some students are intrinsically motivated to learn while others just need help along the way to be motivated. Not everyone is motivated in every area of their life. Kids are the same way! They may not need rewards, they may need connection and collaboration.
Persistence: Some children stick with a project until the end and other children need constant encouragement; some kids need constant support and a cheering squad. Don’t expect perfection (from yourself or them).
Responsibility and structure: some students can work independently, while others need supervision. Some children thrive with open ended tasks while others need more parameters to get them started.
There are some kids that just really struggle with open ended tasks or no directions. If you have one of those children and they ask what should they do? Instead of saying whatever they want, give them some parameters, have choices and options. You're not telling them what to do, you're giving them parameters and options.
Physical:
Intake: some kids need food or drinks while they’re playing while other kids are fine without refreshments. With kids a lot of time they’re acting up it's because they’re thirsty or hungry
Time: Some do great in the morning or the afternoon. Find the best time that works for your child to learn.
Mobility: some kids need to move around a lot, while others sit for hours. Think about how can you implement this in your day? (Some kids could use a manipulative in their hand to help with movement to learn, some kids just need the invitation to play.)
Psychological:
Impulsive: Some children jump right into new tasks while others take a long time to make a decision. Just be patient with them.
This is a lot of information but after a few weeks at home, you may notice some of these things taking place, intentional or not. What are you noticing in your own home environment that could be helpful for your sanity and help your child feel calm and safe?
